You May Just be a ROAD RACER if...
Submitted by Dave Raum

1. You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
2. You take your helmat along when you go to buy new sunglasses or
check out cars (seats).
3. You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best times.
4. You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to "racing depth".
5. When something falls off your car, you wonder how much weight
you just saved.
6. When you hear "overcooked it", instead of food you think "off the track".
7. You change engine oil every other week.
8. You somethimes hear little noises from yuor passengers when you
get on the throttle right after turning in.
9. You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive
around a highway off-ramp.
10. Your racing budget is one of the big three--mortgage, car payment/
maintenance, dating.
11. Your email address refers to your race car rather then you.
12. You walk "proper lines" through the grocery store.
13. You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
14. You bought a race car before buying a house.
15. You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
16. You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your
garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more
vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
17. The requirements you give your real estate agent are
(in order of importance):
1. 8-car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2. Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a 28'
enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3. 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4. A grease pit.
5. Conveniently close to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6. Deaf neighbors.
7. Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8. Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property
somewhere or hookups for the motorhome